Saint (Dixie Reapers MC 12) Read online

  He chuckled a little. “Good point, but I doubt the right woman is out there for me. I think I’d have met her by now. Besides, there are things about me that you don’t know. It wouldn’t be safe for a woman to be involved in my life.”

  “And yet I’m here, in your home.”

  “Different thing altogether. You’re not mine. You’re a guest.”

  I tipped my head to the side and studied him. There were shadows under his eyes, and I realized he looked really damn tired. Not just the sleepy kind, but the type of tired that said he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

  “The thing you’re involved in, the reason you don’t want a woman in your life, is it really dangerous?”

  “Can be. Just depends on whether or not I get caught.”

  “The type of dangerous that would result in prison time?” I asked.

  “No.” He smiled a little. “The work I do is for the government, when I’m not juggling things for the club. But Uncle Sam has a tendency to look the other way and deny any knowledge of certain events if they don’t turn out accordingly. Someone comes for me and the government will disavow any knowledge of what I’ve been doing.”

  “Be careful. You seem like a really nice guy and I’d hate for anything to happen to you. I think the club would be upset too. And not just because of everything you do for them.”

  He nodded and squeezed my hand.

  “Listen, why don’t you rest a bit, maybe read one of those naughty books Ridley dropped off. The ones I’m not supposed to know you have, and then you can shower and put on something pretty in time for dinner tonight.”

  “Dinner?” I asked. We hadn’t done any special for dinner in the weeks I’d been here.

  “Just trust me. I have a surprise for you.”

  “Thank you, Wire. And thank you for letting me stay here. I’ll think about what you said. Maybe I’ll tell Saint the next time I see him. I don’t like keeping the baby a secret or asking the club to betray Saint because of it. I’m just scared about what will happen when he finds out.”

  Wire patted my hand. “It’s going to be fine, Sofia. No stress, remember?”

  Right. No stress.

  Wire left my room and I wandered over to the small bookshelf. Ridley apparently had a thing for romance novels, as did the other Reaper ladies. They’d stuffed all three shelves full of various genres and authors. Everything from historical to shifters, even a few biker romances. I kind of wondered if they planted those in hopes I’d be more open to having Saint in my life again.

  Little did they realize there was nothing I wanted more.

  I picked one about a wolf pack in Georgia and settled against the pillows on the bed to read. By the time I’d devoured the nearly three-hundred-page story, my stomach was rumbling. I looked at the bedside table clock and saw that I still had a few hours until dinner. Making my way to the kitchen, I paused along the way to see if I heard Wire or anyone else in the house. It was quiet, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. I’d learned that Wire had a special room with all his computers and other gadgets, and it had been soundproofed. I’d decided I didn’t want to know why he needed a soundproof room full of computers. After he’d created a valid marriage license and the proper paperwork for me to be a US citizen, I probably didn’t want to know what he was doing for the government, or the club for that matter.

  I didn’t have much of an appetite these days, but I knew I needed to eat. Doctor Myron had insisted that if I couldn’t handle large meals that I eat smaller portions more frequently. It had helped me hold my food down. Most of the time. I was still fighting off morning sickness, and it seemed to hit at any point in the day. I dug through the fridge and cabinets, deciding on a grilled cheese sandwich.

  I might not be the greatest cook, but I could make simple things. I melted some butter in the skillet, then slathered some of the slices of bread. I toasted the first side of each piece, placed a thick slice of cheddar on top of one, and flipped the other slice on top. After turning it a few times to make sure the cheese melted evenly, I decided to make one for Wire. I didn’t see any dishes in the sink, which meant he’d probably forgotten to eat. I’d noticed he did that from time to time.

  When I was finished, I slid the skillet to the back burner to cool and put away the extra bread and cheese, as well as the butter. I left my sandwich on the counter, but picked up Wire’s and grabbed a cold soda from the fridge. I walked down the hall and knocked on the door to his work room, then waited. And waited. After a moment, the door cracked open and he blinked at me, almost as if he didn’t recognize me.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Sorry, I was in the zone. I get a little lost in my work sometimes, forget where I am.” He chuckled. “Hell, there are times I think I forget who I am.”

  I held up the plate and drink. “I didn’t think you’d eaten lunch and I thought you might be hungry.”

  “Thanks, Sofia. Don’t forget to dress nice for dinner.”

  I nodded and he shut the door, going back to whatever it was he was doing in there. I was on my way to the kitchen when there was a knock at the front door. Hesitating a moment, I decided to go answer it. Wire was obviously in another world and probably wouldn’t come out anytime soon. I smiled when I saw Isabella on the other side.

  “You won’t be smiling when I confess my sin,” Isabella said. Then she held up a covered dish. “Cookies. I didn’t make them. Darian did.”

  I cautiously accepted the plate. I knew from experience that Isabella’s cookies were something to be feared, but Darian had a knack of forgetting them in the oven too. Especially since she looked like she was about to pop now that she was due any day. It seemed the Reaper ladies tended to get pregnant in pairs, or more. Darian and Pepper were both due any time now.

  “She didn’t burn them,” Isabella assured me.

  “I was about to have a sandwich. Want to come in and tell me about this sin you committed? Unless it has to do with your husband or making more babies. You can keep those thoughts to yourself.”

  She smiled wistfully. “I wish. No, I’m taking longer to heal this time. We tried and it was still a bit painful, so Torch insisted we wait another month. He thinks I don’t know about the magazine he has hidden under the bathroom sink. Like I’m going to believe he’s running to the bathroom that frequently! My cooking isn’t that horrible.”

  More than I wanted to know.

  I led the way to the kitchen and set the plate of cookies down before I got my lunch and a drink for both of us. Isabella sat and sighed as she stretched out her legs.

  “Been on my feet all day between chasing the kids, cleaning, and then I ran over to Darian’s to help her a bit. I’m wiped out.” Isabella stretched again, a slight wince on her face.

  “What sin did you commit?” I asked again. If she’d felt it was important enough to come over here, then it had to be something big.

  “It’s my fault.”

  “What’s your fault?” I asked.

  “Saint finding you. He came by and I refused to say anything, but then Torch said that Saint had a right to make amends with you. So I told him where to find you.”

  Well, I hadn’t seen that one coming. I couldn’t be angry with her, though. As much as I’d been scared to see Saint, being held by him again had felt wonderful. Even if I did push him away right after.

  “It’s fine. He came and tried to apologize.”

  “Tried?” she asked.

  “I didn’t really give him a chance to stick around. I told him to leave.”

  Isabella traced a pattern on the table. “When I first came here, Saint was really sweet to me. Torch asked him to guard me, and he did. I think he’d have given his life for me. I’ve never thought of him as being a bad guy. The opposite, in fact. He got his name because he’s the nicest guy out of the bunch, and believes in doing the right thing. He’d give someone the shirt off his back if he thought they needed it. The Saint you told us about, the one who pushed
you away and was mean about it doesn’t seem like the guy we all know and love.”

  “So I’ve heard.”

  “Did he explain why he did it?” she asked.

  “He said he was protecting both me and Delia, and maybe he believes that, but shouldn’t I have been included in that decision? Not about Delia, but if he was trying to protect me, I think I had a right to say whether or not I wanted him to do that.”

  Isabella snorted. “Welcome to the Dixie Reapers. Those men are so alpha they don’t stop to ask permission for anything. They do what they want when they want and claim it’s for your own good. Good thing they’re so loveable. Of course, being sexy doesn’t hurt either.”

  I fake gagged and she laughed.

  “No offense. I don’t see your husband as sexy, but that’s a good thing. I have zero interest in him or anyone else.”

  “Except Saint.”

  I sighed. “Yeah, except Saint.”

  “Eat your lunch and have a cookie. Call me if you need to talk. I need to get home before the kids drive Torch out of the house and we don’t see him for hours.”

  “Does that ever happen?”

  “Not really. He’s crazy about them, even when they cry all night or throw up on him. Best man I’ve ever met.” She got a dreamy look on her face. “And he’s all mine.”

  Isabella let herself out while I ate my sandwich and tested a cookie. When it didn’t seem like it would kill me, I had another, then went back to my bedroom and read another book. As the dinner hour drew closer, I showered and took the time to shave so I could wear a dress without looking like Sasquatch. I’d finished getting ready and was waiting in the living room when I heard a motorcycle pull up. My stomach clenched and I hoped it was just someone passing by. I hadn’t seen Wire, but could smell the faint hint of cigarettes, which meant he was on the porch smoking. He seemed to do that rather frequently.

  The bike kept going and I breathed out a sigh of relief. Settling on the couch, I decided to wait patiently until Wire was ready. I didn’t know where we were going, but I hadn’t had a surprise in a while. Not counting the baby in my belly. I only hoped if we were going out to dinner that I’d be able to hold down my meal.

  Chapter Seven

  Saint

  I got dressed, then grabbed my keys. My hand trembled and I realized I was scared as fuck that I’d get to Wire’s house and she’d refuse to go anywhere with me. I wouldn’t blame her, but I really needed her to give me another chance. I wouldn’t fuck it up this time. I’d thought I was doing the right thing, but obviously that hadn’t been the case. I should have explained things to her, but I’d known that she would refuse to go if she thought I wanted to keep her. Watching her walk away had been the hardest damn thing I’d ever done. Even harder than bringing a baby home.

  Wire was on the porch smoking a cigarette when I pulled up and I frowned as I got out of the SUV.

  “Since when do you light up?” I asked.

  “Since your woman is stressing me the fuck out. Seriously, Saint. Fix this shit and get her back home with you. All the crying is wearing on my damn nerves, and nothing I say or do seems to make it stop.” He dropped the cigarette and stomped it out. “I gave this shit up a long time ago, but I need the nicotine when she’s around. And I refuse to smoke in the house. Spent more time on this damn porch since she’s been here than I have the rest of the year.”

  I refrained from flipping him off. It wasn’t my fault he was a pansy ass and couldn’t handle some tears. Granted, I didn’t like it when Sofia cried either, but it wasn’t going to make me smoke, or do anything else I normally wouldn’t. I still felt like there was something off, something I needed to know about the situation.

  “She in her room?” I asked.

  “No. Living room. I told her to dress nice, that I had a surprise for her. She doesn’t know you’re coming so I’m not sure how she’ll react.”

  Shit. I’d left and not said anything else to her, no indication that I’d return for her. I paused in the doorway when her gaze locked with mine. Fucking hell but she looked gorgeous. The dress she had on hugged her breasts, then flared out, stopping above her knees. Maybe it was just my imagination, but she looked a bit bigger on top than before. I’d stared at her breasts often enough that I knew something was different. Before she called me on it, I shifted my gaze to her face. Salivating over her like a damn dog wasn’t going to win me any points.

  “You look beautiful,” I said.

  “Why are you here?” she asked, fidgeting with her dress.

  “I came to take you on a date.”

  Her eyes widened a little, and I saw her pulse flutter at the base of her throat. She started shaking her head and acted like she was about to dart past me, but I held up my hands, hoping she’d stay and listen.

  “Will you go on a date with me, Sofia? Let me do things the right way. If we’d met under any other circumstances, then I’d have asked you out.”

  “Would you really?” she asked. Her lips twisted and pain flashed in her eyes. “That doesn’t seem to be the biker way from what I’ve seen around here, and what I’ve heard from my sisters. The single men seem more interested in sex than relationships.”

  She had me there.

  “I’ve never dated anyone before,” I admitted, “and yes, I’ve been with my share of women. Not as many as a lot of my brothers, but I’ve not been a monk. Not until Delia anyway. That’s in the past, Sofia. You’re different. You’re not like the other women I’ve been with. They were just a release, a way to blow off steam and sexual frustration. What we shared that day… it was special. You matter. A lot. I care about you and I want to give you everything you deserve, starting with a proper date.”

  Her lip trembled and she turned away. “I don’t matter. Not to you. I didn’t matter when you said it could only be the one time. I didn’t matter when you got cold and distant right after. I didn’t matter when you said Delia didn’t need me, and implied you didn’t either.”

  “I was an asshole, Sofia, and I’m sorry. I’ll get down on my knees right here and now to beg your forgiveness if that will help. Is that what you want?”

  “No,” she said. “What I want is to rewind the clock and have you hold me afterward, tell me, then that I meant something to you. But I can’t go back in time. I can’t change the past. I’m not sure anything you say or do now can make up for that.”

  I moved closer and placed my hands at her waist. Turning her to face me, I tipped her chin up and pressed my lips to hers. She inhaled and stiffened. As I teased her lips with my own, she softened and began pressing closer to me. Soon, she was kissing me back. Regardless of what she said, she still wanted me. I knew I had a lot to make up for, but if she didn’t go on this date with me, then I didn’t know where else to start.

  “Sofia, please go out with me.” I ran my hand down her hair. “Let me show you that I’m not the asshole you think I am. I was scared for you and my daughter, and I didn’t handle the situation the right way. I’m not perfect, but for you, I’d like to try to be.”

  “I don’t need perfect,” she said.

  “Then you’ll give me another chance?”

  She hesitated, then gave me a slight nod. My relief was instantaneous and I gripped her hand, leading her outside to the SUV. Wire was still on the porch, smoking another damn cigarette. In the six weeks Sofia had been under my roof, she’d never been so much of a pain that I’d felt the need to drink or smoke. I had a hard time picturing her driving Wire to pick up a pack of cigarettes. He’d mentioned that she cried a lot, but I figured it had to be more than that.

  I helped Sofia into the SUV, buckled her seat belt, then went around to the driver’s side. I started the car and drove through the compound to the front gate. Lief was manning the gate and I waved as I pulled through. He hadn’t been with us for long, but he seemed like a solid guy, the kind who would have your back when the shit hit the fan.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “
I made a reservation for us earlier. If you see the menu and decide you don’t want to eat there, we’ll go somewhere else. It’s the best place in town, and the lot is always packed. I wanted to make sure we’d have a table.”

  “You put a lot of thought into this.”

  “Well, yeah. I don’t wear a dress shirt for just anyone, Sofia. I had to go buy one because all I own are T-shirts, but I wanted to look nice when I took you out tonight.”

  I needed her to know that this was serious, that I was serious about her. She wasn’t a fling, and I wouldn’t tire of her in a few days or weeks. I had a feeling that Sofia was it, the one. Telling her that right this moment might make her turn and run, especially after what I’d put her through.

  “You trimmed your beard.” She reached over and lightly ran her fingers over my jaw. “I like it.”

  I grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers. I eased into the parking of The General’s Steakhouse and circled the lot at least four times before a parking space opened up. I slid the SUV into the spot, then turned off the car. Sofia was looking around, but I noticed her hands were fidgeting with her dress again.

  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  “So many people. Are you sure you want to be seen with me? We could go somewhere quieter.”

  What. The. Fuck.

  “What the hell do you mean do I want to be seen with you?” I demanded. When she flinched, I realized I’d been a bit too harsh and I reached over to run my fingers down her cheek. “I’m sorry for scaring you. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. I just don’t understand where that question came from. Why wouldn’t I want to be seen with you?”

  “I didn’t want people to get the wrong idea.” She locked her gaze with mine, and I saw resignation, pain, and something fleeting that I didn’t quite catch.