Flicker Read online

  I gave him a nod and waited for Torch to get Pepper back on track. She’d already talked to both me and Sarge about her mom and the men who wanted their money. But it almost seemed like she was hesitant to speak of it now. Her hands twisted in her lap, her gaze darted around the room, and she was too eager to not only answer questions about anything else, but then asked some in return. It was almost like she was stalling.

  “The men, Pepper,” Torch said. “Who are they and what do they want?”

  She licked her lips and fidgeted. “My mom stole something from them. Or more accurately, from their boss. They told her they wanted their drugs back or the twenty grand the cocaine was worth, and she didn’t have either.”

  “What the fuck did she do with twenty grand worth of coke?” Venom asked.

  “Snorted it most likely,” Pepper said. “She was known for buying drugs and throwing wild parties. Orgies might be a better description.”

  The men looked at Sarge who held up his hands.

  “She wasn’t into all that shit when I knew her,” Sarge said. “You know I’d have never touched her.”

  Pepper twitched and I tightened my hold on her, trying to give her some sort of comfort and remind her that she wasn’t alone. She settled against me and I felt her breathe a little easier.

  “And your mom can’t give them the drugs for some reason, so she sent them after you?” Tank asked. “Because I’m not tracking where this is going. How did you get involved?”

  I could see the questions in Tank’s eyes, and I didn’t like where his mind seemed to be. No way Pepper was involved in that shit. I’d thoroughly checked out every inch of her body and she didn’t have a single needle mark, no old track marks, her nose didn’t show signs of cocaine abuse. Not to mention, she wasn’t jittery or coming down off anything, and she didn’t have drugs in her bag that I’d been able to see. The sins of the mother didn’t belong to the daughter, but I refrained from calling him on it. For now.

  “My mom overdosed, on purpose. Her suicide note told me about the men and told me to come find Sarge. Until then, she’d never given me a hint as to where my dad might live or who he really was,” Pepper said.

  Tank glanced at Sarge, his eyebrow lifted.

  Sarge rubbed the back of his neck. “Pepper’s mother turned to prostitution a few years after we met. She got into drugs and who knows what else. And yes, my daughter grew up around that shit, and no, I’m not fucking happy about it. Pepper got herself out of there when she was able and she’s tried to keep her distance from her mom.”

  “Just because she’s feeding us all this doesn’t make it true,” Tank said.

  And that’s when he crossed the line. I shifted Pepper, intending to stand, but Torch sent a glare in Tank’s direction and another in mine. I ground my teeth together and planted my ass firmly back in the chair, but I wasn’t too fucking happy. The asshole had basically called my woman a liar. A glance at Sarge showed that he wasn’t faring any better. His face was flushed and his jaw was tight.

  “Tank, you’re out of line,” Torch said. “I know those girls of yours have you in overprotective mode, but calm the fuck down.”

  Tank snarled, but didn’t say another word.

  His daughters, triplets, were beyond adorable. Everyone loved them, and I got even angrier that he thought I’d ever to do something to put them in jeopardy. Harlow, Kasen, and Westyn had every man in this club wrapped around their cute, chubby little fingers.

  “Wire,” Torch said. “To set Tank’s mind at ease, would you please run a check on Pepper? And before Sarge and Flicker leap to her defense again, I’m not calling her a liar. I just want Tank and anyone else here with doubts to see the proof that Pepper is who she claims to be and isn’t here for nefarious purposes.”

  Wire opened his laptop and tapped away on the computer for a moment. “Full name?”

  “Pepper White. My mother was Mary Ann White. We’re from Las Vegas,” Pepper said.

  “Anything else you want to share before I start digging?” Wire asked.

  Pepper chewed her lip. “I was emancipated when I was sixteen and got my G.E.D. I graduated from cooking school. If you’re asking about arrest records or something, my record is clean.”

  “Clean because there isn’t one? Or clean because it’s been wiped?” Wire asked. “Because trust me, if there’s anything there, I’ll find it.”

  Her body tensed and I saw her face drain of color. What the hell? Sarge shared a look with me, and it was enough to tell me he didn’t have a clue why she reacted that way either. Was Pepper hiding something?

  “What am I going to find, Pepper?” Wire asked.

  “Will files from Social Services be in there?” she asked softly.

  “Yes,” Wire said. “Even if a record is sealed, I can still access it.”

  Her gaze lifted and held his. “You don’t have to share everything you see, right?”

  “What the fuck, Pepper?” I asked, my tone rougher than I’d intended.

  Wire stared at her a moment, then started tapping away on his computer. The tension in the room grew and Pepper started to tremble. She seemed truly terrified and I didn’t know why. Had she done something really wrong and was worried how we’d react? None of us were squeaky clean, but as long as she wasn’t here under false pretenses, then I didn’t understand why she was so damn scared.

  “Oh, fuck,” Wire muttered, then his gaze lifted and held Pepper’s. I heard her audibly swallow. “Sweetheart, they need to know. No one will judge you.”

  “Please,” she said softly, her lip quivering. “Don’t. I’m begging you.”

  He shook his head. “They’ll know you aren’t protecting your mom. And they’ll understand why you show her no love.”

  “I -- I don’t want…” She stopped and I felt a hot tear hit my arm.

  “Pepper, baby. What’s he talking about?” I asked softly.

  She shook her head and just let the tears fall.

  “Pepper White was emancipated at the age of sixteen,” Wire said. “Uncontested and pushed through rather quickly. After Social Services received a call. Mary Ann White was arrested for child endangerment and a Leon Parsons went to prison for a long-ass time. Looks like Mary Ann was released after six months for good behavior, or more likely, overcrowding.”

  “What the fuck does it have to do with Pepper?” Sarge asked. “What was the child endangerment charge for?”

  “The reports say that Social Services arrived on scene and called the local police. Mary Ann White had accepted money from…”

  “Stop,” Pepper said, her voice soft and shaky. “Please. Don’t say anymore.”

  “Baby, I know you were a virgin before you came to my bed, so what happened that day?” I asked.

  “Was?” Sarge asked, his eyes narrowed at me. I waved him off because now wasn’t the time for that talk.

  She shook her head and refused to speak. Wire gave her a sympathetic look before letting us know what she’d suffered. I had a feeling the second he started speaking again, and I heard what she’d been through, that I was going to want to murder some fuckers. Starting with whoever the fuck that Parsons guy was, and just because he was in prison didn’t put him beyond my reach.

  “Her mother accepted cash to look the other way. Mr. Parsons had stripped her and tied her down. Social Services interrupted before he could do more than unfasten his pants, and the police arrested him. It seems good ol’ Mr. Parsons liked them young. He was charged with multiple counts of attempted rape, rape, and molestation of minors. Once he was picked up and charged with Pepper’s attempted rape, other girls came forward and spoke out. There were enough of them he’ll be doing time until he’s dead,” Wire said.

  Pepper sobbed and seemed to cave in on herself. I wrapped her tight in my arms and held her, my heart breaking for the young kid who had to have been scared shitless and wishing I could rip out Parson’s spine and bring her mom back from the dead just to kill her again. My girl was so strong, or so
she’d seemed. I now had to wonder if she’d grown her steel spine that night.

  “Social Services paved the way for her to be emancipated,” Wire said.

  Pepper pulled away from me, standing and wiping the tears from her cheeks. She looked from one end of the table to the other, and I noticed that Tank wouldn’t hold her gaze. Fucker better watch it. I didn’t give a shit if he was my brother and the Sergeant at Arms. I was still going to beat his ass for putting Pepper through this shit.

  “I shouldn’t have come here,” she said.

  “Pepper…” I reached for her, but she danced back a step, keeping out of reach. I didn’t like the haunted look in her eyes, or the pallor in her cheeks. And I sure as fuck didn’t like the defeated stoop of her shoulders.

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured, then ran from the room.

  I stood so fast my chair hit the floor. “Goddammit! Tank, you’re an asshole. If you’d left well enough alone, then Torch would have never asked Wire to dig that shit up. You pulled that same crap with Rin, and by some miracle, Wraith never knocked your teeth in. I’m not feeling quite so kind toward you right now.”

  “Go after her,” Sarge said, rising slowly from his chair. “I’d like a few words with our Sergeant at Arms, and with Wire. Make sure Pepper knows that neither of us think any less of her.”

  I glared at Tank one last time and left, hoping Sarge laid the fucker out for hurting Pepper. I hurried through the clubhouse and ran outside, hoping I’d see Pepper somewhere along the road. If she left, if by some miracle whoever was on the gate let her through, then I’d hunt her down and bring her home where she belonged, and God help anyone who laid a hand on her.

  Chapter Five

  Pepper

  I’d never be able to face them again, especially not Flicker. How could he ever want me knowing how dirty I was? I’d worked so hard to put that night out of my mind, had stopped having nightmares after two years. I’d even felt the first hint of desire when I’d seen Flicker, something that had never happened before, and I’d craved his touch and not dreaded it. For a while, I’d been able to convince myself it was only due to my mother’s lifestyle and the kids teasing me that had kept me from letting a man get close. I’d told myself I was tough, that nothing could hurt me. I couldn’t live in denial anymore.

  Now it was all back. Every nightmare, every horrific memory I’d banished. The way the man’s hands had felt on my body, the fear that had coursed through my veins as he’d started to undress after tying me down. I could smell the stale cigarettes in the air, and feel the springs digging into my back and hips. I couldn’t stop the tears. No matter how many times I dashed them away, more fell down my cheeks. It felt like I’d been sliced open and was hemorrhaging.

  I was so ashamed. Social Services had sent a man to the trailer that day, or I doubt I’d have been saved in time. He’d assured me, as had the counselor I’d been assigned, that none of it was my fault, that I was a victim. It hadn’t mattered. I’d scrubbed my skin that night until I’d nearly bled. I’d worked so hard to put it behind me, to live a normal life. I’d done my best to convince myself it hadn’t happened, shut everything into a room in my mind and locked the door. No, I’d never dated, but it was only because no one had ever made me feel the all-consuming desire that Flicker did. At least, I’d convinced myself of that, and in part it was true, but it was why I’d never felt that way that I’d managed to block entirely.

  Until now, I hadn’t thought about that night in over a year. And even then, it hadn’t happened often. By the time I was eighteen, I’d done an adequate job of compartmentalizing what happened and becoming numb to it. Almost as if I had been an observer that night. It seemed I wasn’t as numb as I’d thought. Thanks to that man’s mojo on his computer, everyone in that room now knew what had happened to me, the shame I’d suffered, and I now had to battle the memories again. It was like the bandage had been ripped off and now I had an oozing sore once more. Or more like they’d cracked open my chest and left me for dead.

  Flicker had left his house unlocked and I went inside to pack my things. Not that I’d really unpacked to begin with. I’d strap my pack to my bike and head out. It was a mistake to come here. Meeting my dad had been great. I’d wanted the chance to know him better, but there was no way he would ever look at me the same. I was my mother’s daughter, good for nothing but letting men get off. Deep down, I knew that wasn’t true, but it was how I’d been made to feel by my peers when they’d heard about the incident. Despite Vegas not exactly being small town America, when something sensationally bad happened, everyone heard one way or another. Those scars had never fully healed, and it was possible they never would.

  I was carrying my bag out to my bike when a hand clamped down on my arm. I tensed and didn’t move. Being inside the compound, I knew it had to be either my dad or Flicker. I was safe here, or at least I had been. What probably hurt the most was having shared such an intense moment with Flicker, finally meeting my dad, and now I had to walk away. I was losing the only two people I had in my life now.

  “Where the hell are you going?” Flicker demanded, turning me to face him.

  “It’s fine,” I said. “You don’t have to pretend you still want me here. I’ll go far from Alabama, and the guys from Vegas won’t be a problem for you. Just forget you ever met me.”

  “What the fuck, Pepper?” His brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed a bit. I thought I even saw a flash of hurt, but I knew I had to be wrong. “Why are you leaving?”

  “Seriously? You were just told that I’m trash, less than trash, and you want me to stick around?”

  “Tr --” He growled and hauled me closer, his eyes snapping with fury. “I never, and I mean never want to hear you call yourself that again. You were a kid, a scared kid who should have been protected. What happened wasn’t your fault, and I sure as fuck don’t look down on you for surviving something like that. No one here would do that. I’m glad they found you in time, and I can assure you that I will arrange for Mr. Parsons to be tortured daily for the rest of his prison stay. If your bitch of a mother were still alive, I’d personally gut her.”

  My eyes went wide and my heart thundered. “Wh -- what?”

  “Pepper, why would you think I wanted you to leave? Do you honestly think your dad would have let you ride out of here never to be heard from again?”

  “Well… yeah.”

  “Why?” he asked again.

  “Because… when it happened, everyone kept saying I’d asked for it, that I was just another trashy whore like my mother. I know there are pricey call girls in Vegas and other cities, women who take care of themselves and enjoy their work, but my mom wasn’t like them. She was a junkie and when it came to her clients, she wasn’t discriminating, if you know what I mean. As long as they could pay or give her drugs, then she’d let them do whatever they wanted. Didn’t matter if they used protection or not, or whether they were clean. When she died, she’d aged beyond her years, had lost a lot of her teeth, her hair was brittle and coming out. She also had contracted more than one STD over the years.”

  “And you think you’re anything like that?” he asked quietly. “When you look in the mirror, that’s what you see?”

  I hesitated.

  “Sweetheart, you’re beautiful and I can understand why some guys might try to tear you down and make you feel like less, especially if you shut them down and wouldn’t spread your legs for them. You can’t believe what other people say about you. And if you’re going to listen to someone, then listen to me. You’re gorgeous, fiery, and any guy would be lucky to call you his.” He smirked. “Just so happens I get that honor because I’m not letting you go.”

  “Everyone in that room now knows what I happened,” I said. “How can I look them in the eye after that?”

  “Baby, no one here will think any less of you. And it’s not just because you’re mine, or because you’re Sarge’s daughter. Once they meet you, get to know you, they’ll see that same fire inside
that I do. You’re going to make a lot of friends here at the compound.”

  “Because you say so?” I asked, feeling a little snarky.

  “No, because you’re incredible.”

  I felt the tension drain from me as I looked up at him. I could tell that Flicker was sincere and really meant everything he’d just said. I gave him a faint smile.

  “You’re just saying that because you want to get lucky again.”

  He swatted my ass. “Nope. I’m speaking the truth. Of course, I plan on tying you to the bed again…” His words trailed off and his gaze shuttered.

  “Don’t,” I said.

  “I did that to you, after what you’d been through. I’m an asshole.”

  “You didn’t know, and I promise that I never once thought about that night. I was completely focused on you and how you were making me feel.” As I said the words, I realized they were one hundred percent true. All I’d thought about during that time was Flicker and all the emotions and sensation rolling through me. Not once I had thought about that night all those years ago. I’d trusted him to do those things to me, when I’d never trusted anyone before. What was it about him that called to me? That made me throw caution to the wind and take a chance? He was a stranger, a complete unknown, and yet I’d let my walls down around him and allowed him to get closer than anyone ever had.

  “I won’t let you leave, Pepper. If you even try to get on that bike and ride out of here, I’ll spank your ass. Not to mention they won’t open the gates for you. Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck here. With me.”

  I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my cheek against him. “I don’t mind being stuck with you, or here at the compound. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving.”

  “You have to talk to me, okay? Whatever you have going on in that head of yours, let me know if you’re worried or scared. Don’t try to run off again because you feel like you’re not worthy or some other bullshit. And that’s exactly what it is, Pepper. Bullshit.”

  “Don’t sugarcoat it or anything,” I muttered.