Saint (Dixie Reapers MC 12) Read online

  But would I be staying here? Just because Mr. VanHorne had made arrangements for me to live with the club, it didn’t mean it was a permanent thing. I’d thought I was here to be their whore, but Saint had seemed horrified when I’d tried to get him off. If that wasn’t why I’d been brought here, then…

  Torch cleared his throat and looked at me, then Saint. “Got an interesting call from Spider. It seems Luciana stripped naked and offered herself to him. Anything I need to know?”

  My cheeks burned and I dropped my gaze, but Saint reached over and squeezed my hand. It was humiliating to know that our father had done that to us. Made us feel like we weren’t good for anything but spreading our legs. If I hadn’t been given to Saint, would someone else have taken me up on the offer? Would they have used me and not even noticed I wasn’t into it? Or would they have cared at all?

  “There was a slight misunderstanding this morning,” Saint said. “It’s been cleared up.”

  “Not really,” I muttered.

  “You think you’re here to service the club?” Torch asked.

  “If not that, then why am I here? It’s all I’m good for.”

  Saint’s hand squeezed mine tighter and he glared at me, anger flaring in his eyes. “That’s not all you’re good for, Sofia. Knock that shit off.”

  “What do you know of Casper VanHorne?” Torch asked me.

  The conversation was put on hold as a harried-looking waitress made her way over. She huffed and puffed like she’d been running all morning. “Sorry it took me so long to get over here,” she said. “What can I get you folks to drink?”

  We placed our drink orders and she rushed off.

  “I just know he was brokering some sort of deal for my father,” I said after she was out of earshot.

  “Not entirely,” Torch said. “That’s what your father thought. Casper is trying to take down your father and his organization. But first he wanted to make sure the three of you were safe. He brought you here to me, and sent your sisters to Hades Abyss for protection. Neither Luciana or Violeta are being harmed in any way. They aren’t being forced to have sex with anyone.”

  Wire snorted. “No, but from what it sounded like, Luciana and Spider might end up together. I think he’s going to claim her.”

  “Claim?” I asked.

  “She’ll be his, his woman. No one would dare touch her,” Saint said. “He’s the President of Hades Abyss. Being his old lady or wife would put her in the safest position of all. Every last man in that club would lay down his life for her. And Violeta, by association, since she’d be Spider’s sister-in-law. It means they’d protect you too, if you wanted to join your sisters.”

  The waitress returned with our drinks and took our food order before rushing off again. Saint’s words weighed heavily on me. I stared at him. He wanted me to leave. Of course he did. He’d pointed out repeatedly what a bad idea it was for me to be around his daughter. I knew he was right, and it would be better for me to be far away from them, but the thought of never seeing him again made my chest ache.

  “Sofia is staying here,” Torch said. “If you really don’t want her in your home, I’ll find a spot for her.”

  Wire winked at me. “She can come stay with me.”

  Saint stiffened next to me. “I don’t think…”

  “You don’t think what?” Torch asked, his voice going hard. “You don’t want her under your roof. Fine. She won’t be. It doesn’t give you a say in where she lives.”

  “Pardon me for being worried about my daughter,” Saint said, his jaw clenching.

  “It’s fine,” I said. “I don’t have much to move. He’s right to be concerned about Delia. My father wouldn’t hesitate to use her in order to get to me, or keep me in line. He’s done it before.”

  Saint focused on me. “What’s that mean?”

  I looked away, wishing I hadn’t said anything. The fact he’d heard my nightmare and had an idea as to what I’d been through was bad enough. Telling him that my father threatened to hurt little kids if I didn’t obey? No, I wasn’t going to tell him that.

  “Sofia. Damn it. Speak to me,” he said.

  “You don’t want to know, okay? Just leave it alone,” I said.

  “Sofia…”

  “What do you want to hear, Saint? Do you want to hear that my father will find small children and threaten to send them to his men instead of me if I don’t fall in line? Do you want to hear about how he tortured one in front of me before I realized what sort of man had sired me? Is that what you want?” I demanded.

  “We need to put that fucker in the ground,” Wire said.

  “Agreed,” Torch said. “And I think Casper is working on it.”

  “You sacrificed yourself for those kids,” Saint said softly. “Did whatever was asked of you so they wouldn’t suffer. Sofia, I…”

  I shook my head, not wanting to hear it. I wasn’t some angel or anything. Any decent person would have done the same thing. At least, that’s what I told myself, but after being around so many monsters, I’d started to wonder if there were any decent people in the world. Then I’d met Saint and now I knew there were. I wondered what my life would have been like if I’d had a father who loved me, had met a guy like Saint and fallen in love. Not that playing the “what if” game would get me anywhere.

  “She can stay with me, but I won’t marry her,” Saint said.

  It felt like an arrow had pierced my heart. Of course he wouldn’t want to marry someone like me. I was just trash, a whore, thanks to my father. Saint would pick a woman who was sweet and hadn’t been used so thoroughly. The perfect mom for Delia, and the perfect little wife for someone like him.

  “I don’t think I’m hungry,” I murmured. “Can I go home?”

  Saint looked across the room at Delia, and I saw that she was chatting with Torch’s daughter and having a good time.

  “You can stay,” I said. “I’m sure I could find my way back.”

  Wire stood. “I’ll take her. Someone bring the breakfast special back to the compound for me. I’ll pay you back.”

  Saint’s jaw tightened, but he nodded his agreement and let me out of the booth. I needed space, and time to think. I followed Wire out of the diner and gripped his waist as I climbed onto the back of his motorcycle. The wind dried my tears as they fell, and by the time we’d reached the compound, I knew what I had to do. It would hurt, but in the end it would be for the best. No matter how tempting I found Saint, or how much I wanted to hug his little girl, I knew I needed to keep my distance. I just hadn’t realized how difficult it would be.

  Chapter Three

  Saint

  The look on Sofia’s face when she left the diner had gutted me. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry her, or have her in my home. It was that both of those were entirely too tempting. If I didn’t have Delia, then I wouldn’t have hesitated. But the fact was that I was a father first, a Dixie Reaper second, and anything else had to take third place in my life. It wasn’t fair to Sofia to not give her all of myself, and I knew I couldn’t do that. If anyone deserved a happy-ever-after, it was her. I hoped she’d get her fairy-tale ending someday. I just knew I couldn’t be the one to give it to her. I hated that Torch and Wire had pulled that shit, showing her a marriage license with our names on it. It was cruel. I’d never once argued with Torch over anything, but for the first time, I’d wanted to rip into him.

  I’d held my tongue. Barely.

  I dropped Torch off at his home, and he pulled Delia from her booster seat. Lyssa had asked if my daughter could go to the playground with them, and I’d thought it would be the perfect opportunity for me to speak with Sofia. Lay everything out, without worrying about being interrupted.

  I pulled into the driveway, parked under the carport, then shut off the vehicle and blew out a breath. Looking at the house, I felt my stomach knot. I wasn’t looking forward to going in there, knowing that Sofia could very well be crying. I hated that I’d made her upset enough she’d wanted
to leave the diner, and with Wire of all people. He was single, the ladies loved him, and I knew he’d be good to her. I hated the fucker right then.

  Sitting in the car wouldn’t accomplish anything, so I made myself go inside. I didn’t hear a single sound and frowned as I went room by room. I found Sofia in my room, gathering the dirty laundry into a hamper that she was dragging behind her. The damn thing was almost as tall as her. Well, maybe not quite, but it did go up past her waist. She looked like a little pixie standing next to it.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  She shrieked and knocked the hamper over. “You scared me!”

  “Sorry, but seriously. What are you doing?”

  She waved a hand. “What’s it look like?”

  “Gathering my dirty clothes?”

  She nodded. “Good. Because that’s exactly what I’m doing. Might as well keep busy, so I thought I’d do some laundry. The housekeeper back home made sure we all knew how to use a washer and dryer, and I learned to cook some basic things. I’m not very good, though. I tend to burn most everything. Even using a toaster.”

  “Sofia, you aren’t my maid. You don’t have to do this.”

  “Not your maid. Not your whore. Not your wife. I’m not anything, Saint. Just let me do this so I can at least feel like I’m contributing in some way.”

  “What the fuck?” I demanded. “Seriously?”

  “Am I wrong?” Sofia asked.

  “Of course you aren’t my maid or a whore. It wouldn’t be fair for me to marry you, Sofia. I can’t give you a fairy tale, and that’s what you deserve. I didn’t refuse just because of Delia, although her safety is a huge part of it.”

  Her gaze softened a little and she gave a slight nod before she turned to pick up more clothes. I watched her, my hands clenching and unclenching at my sides. I wanted to reach for her, kiss her, promise her that everything would be fine. Somehow, I managed to hold myself back. Kissing her would lead to other things. The brief brush of my lips against hers at the diner had been enough to make me hard as a damn rock.

  I couldn’t deny that I wanted her. If I were honest with myself, I was more intrigued by Sofia than the woman who had given birth to my daughter. Rhianon had been sweet, and we’d had fun, but I’d never wanted forever with her. I’d have given it to her if I’d known we had a kid together, but she’d kept that from me. If Rocket hadn’t called me after her death, I’d have never known about Delia.

  I should walk away, give Sofia her space. But we were alone, and… I didn’t think I was strong enough to resist her for long. If she told me no, pushed me away, then I’d leave. If she didn’t, though… that’s the part that had me rooted to the floor, wondering if I should pull her into my arms and kiss her the way I wanted. She’d wanted me, wanted more until Delia had interrupted us. At the time, I’d be grateful, but now I was wishing that we’d had more time. I was so fucking conflicted. I wanted Sofia, wanted to keep her, but I knew that wasn’t what was best for her or for Delia. Was it?

  “You’re staring,” she said, not even turning around.

  “I’m watching a beautiful woman. Kind of hard to look away.”

  She dropped the shirt in her hand on top of the pile in the hamper, then faced me. There was a cautious sort of hope on her face, but she shuttered her gaze and tightened her jaw. “You were right. We can’t be together,” she said. “It’s best if we keep our distance.”

  Right. She was right, and I knew it, but… I moved closer and reached out, wrapping a loose curl around my finger. Her hair was soft, just like the rest of her. I was going to hell. I knew it, but I leaned closer anyway, not stopping until my lips brushed against hers. Sofia gasped and stiffened a moment before melting against me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, my mouth devouring hers. My cock pressed against the zipper of my jeans and I rubbed against her.

  Sofia made the softest, cutest sounds as I explored her curves and tasted her sweet lips. Her hands slipped under my shirt and pressed against my bare skin. I shuddered, my cock starting to throb. Jesus. I’d never wanted anyone as much as I wanted her, and it scared the fuck out of me. Sofia was the last woman I should crave, and yet I couldn’t deny that I wanted her as badly as a junkie wanted their next hit.

  “Tell me to stop,” I murmured against her lips. “Yell at me and tell me this is a bad idea.”

  “It’s a bad idea,” she said, then kissed me again.

  “We shouldn’t do this,” I said, drawing back to catch my breath.

  “No, we shouldn’t,” she said, and tugged on my cut until I pulled it off and set it on the dresser, then yanked my shirt over my head.

  “Christ, Sofia. I don’t know that I can walk away.”

  “Then don’t. Maybe we can have just this one moment.”

  One moment. I could do that. She started to shimmy out of her clothes, and I kicked off my boots before reaching for my belt. She was already naked before I’d even gotten my jeans all the way off. I hadn’t felt this damn eager since my first time.

  Sofia reached for me, and we fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs. She smiled so brightly that my breath caught for a moment. I reached up and smoothed her hair back from her face, then kissed her softly and slowly. As eager as I was to be inside her, I also wanted to savor the moment. If this was our one and only chance to explore one another, then I wanted to take advantage.

  I licked and kissed every inch of her body, loving the way her nipples hardened as I blew across them. She squirmed beneath me and clutched at my shoulders as I worked my way down, parting her thighs to settle between them.

  “Saint.” She threaded her fingers through my hair and tugged. “I don’t want to wait.”

  “Patience.” I grinned up at her. “I’m not in a rush.”

  “Maybe I am.”

  I leaned down and traced her slit with my tongue, making her gasp, and she clenched her thighs against me. I parted her pussy lips and thrust my tongue inside her tight channel before teasing her clit. Sofia was so damn responsive, I just wanted more and more of her. I sucked on the little bud and eased two fingers inside her, thrusting slowly. As much as I wanted to make her come, I knew we had some time to play, and I wanted this moment to be memorable for both of us. Not that I thought I’d ever forget a single moment spent with her.

  Sofia lifted her hips, pressing closer. I could hear her panting as I worked her pussy with my lips, tongue, and fingers, pushing her closer to an orgasm. I wouldn’t take her until she’d come, worrying that I wouldn’t last long once I was inside her. It had been too fucking long, and she was too damn tempting.

  “Saint, please,” she begged.

  I growled softly and doubled my efforts, loving the sounds of her screams as she came apart. I made her come a second time before I kissed my way back up her body, my weight settling over her. She looked dazed, but her eyes were shining brightly, and her cheeks were flushed. Gorgeous. That’s what she was, absolutely gorgeous.

  My gaze stayed locked on hers as I sank into her, the wet heat of her pussy clasping me tight. I groaned and fought not to close my eyes. Sofia felt incredible, better than anything I’d felt before. Now that she was ready for me, willing, even eager, everything felt a million times better. She was perfection.

  Her legs went around my hips, and she gripped my biceps, her nails biting into me. The trust in her eyes, the total surrender as she gave herself to me, made the walls around my heart crack even more. If things were different…

  I kissed her, long and deep, as I started a steady thrust that soon had my skin humming and my balls drawing up. I couldn’t remember ever taking a woman bare before, not even Delia’s mom. But Sofia wasn’t just any woman. Sweat slicked our skin as I took her harder and faster. It had been long before Rhianon since I hadn’t felt the need to tie up a woman before fucking her. Even though Sofia had begged me earlier, it didn’t feel right. Not in this moment. Next time…

  My chest ached when I realized there wouldn’t be a next tim
e. This was it. Our one moment.

  “I’m losing you,” she said.

  Damn. I knew she hadn’t meant it like that, but the words definitely had a double meaning right now. I focused on Sofia, on the here and now, and blocked out all thoughts of what tomorrow, or even later today would bring. I cupped her breast and pinched her nipple, rolling it between my fingers. Her pussy clenched down on my cock, and I could feel how close she was to coming. On the next stroke, I ground against her clit and tugged on her nipple. Sofia came, her body going tight, and her pussy milking me dry.

  I grunted with every thrust as I filled her up, jet after jet of cum shooting into her. Damn. My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath. Sofia reached up and cupped my cheek, a look of complete devotion on her face, a look that gutted me since I knew nothing could come of it.

  “Maybe we can have one more moment,” she murmured.

  “One more,” I agreed.

  She crossed her wrists in front of me, looking up at me expectantly.

  “You want me to tie you up?” I asked.

  “It’s what you like, right? You don’t have to hold back with me, Saint. I can take whatever you want to give me. I want you, all of you, whatever that entails.”

  I swallowed hard and nodded before withdrawing from her body. I got up and walked over to the closet and pulled down a box off the top shelf. They were things I’d purchased years ago, before finding out about Delia. The container was airtight, so no dust had gathered on the items. A pair of padded cuffs were at the bottom and I pulled them out, then carried the box over toward the bed, setting it down on the nightstand.

  “Turn over. On your knees, ass in the air,” I said. “Put your hands up by the headboard.”

  She quickly got into position, and held her hands by the spindles that ran along my headboard, just as I’d demanded. I fastened the cuffs, making sure they weren’t too tight, and yet snug enough she couldn’t escape. If she got distressed or wanted me to stop at any time, I’d release her immediately. I still worried that it would be too much for her.